Saturday, October 1, 2016

Wrenches in Life

I had grand expectations for this trip.  It was going to be an amazing cultural and bonding experience for our family.  I feel like it has come far short of these expectations.  I knew there would be rough times but I hadn't anticipated nearly everyday being a struggle.  I knew there would be a language barrier to cross but I didn't anticipate just how much that would affect me.  I knew there wouldn't be friends near-by and I would be lonely but I didn't count on just how much that would color my days.  Hyrum has spent the better part of the past two weeks out of town, which has only exacerbated the discomfort I've felt.

These past two weeks I have felt all the insecurities, concerns and failures possible.  Last weekend depression definitely set in.  We really only went to church and the grocery store.  It was a terrible weekend.

This week when I knew he would be headed out again for three and a half days, I knew I had to change things up a bit unless I wanted to perpetuate the downward cycle.  A friend once shared things to do with me that helped her overcome depression in her life.  They were to do 1) something spiritual (i.e. read scriptures), 2) something physical (workout), 3) something social (call a friend). There were a couple more but I've forgotten at the moment.  I added, though they could be her's as well, go to bed (at a sane hour), and go outside.  I got up early, helped by Ben who is getting up around 5:45 most mornings.  I exercised and made plans.  Each day we had a different place to go and errand to run.  Sometimes a quick trip to the store and other times a couple of hour at the playground.  It is amazing how those few little things made our days go so much smoother.  They were also more enjoyable.  We decorated for Halloween and made our "costumes".  The week culminated in a day trip to the Alps on Saturday with Hyrum.

The week was much better than the previous one and I know that in a lot of ways, the growth and the pleasure can't and won't be felt until after we get home and we talk about this trip for years to come.

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